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This list is written from the perspective of a Sydney sider visiting Melbourne. Having been there quite a few times you can be assured this point of view is not just “holiday goggles” in action.

1. hospitals sponsored by gambling companies

Where else in Australia or in fact the world can you find hospitals sponsored by the companies that quite possibly landed them there in the first place. Anyone for the Marlboro cancer ward or Heineken detox facility.

2. Self deprecating sculpture

Where else can you find a city so full of sculptures that make fun of themselves? This one was outside the State Libra…….rary.

3. Advertisements for secret societies

Ok the Druids aren’t really a secret society. Well not in Victoria anyway. They were and are a “mutual society” which basically means a private health fund. Except dating back 150 or so years.

4. Dirt cheap food

Vietnamese slap bang in the middle of the city – $8 for a complete meal. Try doing that in Sydney.

5. Trams. Full stop.

We call them light rail in sydney so we can feel superior with our ‘heavy’ rail. In reality we stuffed it up and York street is a sea of buses as far as the eye can see at 9am on a weekday.

6 The Luna Park face

It’s freaking scary. Ok the park is smaller than my broom closet but if I was a kid I’d be crying all the way back home to Sydney.

7 Wide Streets

Why anyone in sydney thought 4 lanes and pavements only just wide enough to fit a man walking his dog would be enough is anyone’s guess. Unfortunately I did not have a lens with an angle wide enough to fit in a whole Melbourne street. Our bus driver said, and I don’t know if this is a joke or not but it sounds legit. “A town planner from London said that the best street width is 66 feet. Someone in Melbourne stuffed up and hence all of ours are 99 feet wide”. Good, try driving a bus while walking your dog next to it in Sydney.

8 Rubbish bins

Believe it or not Sydney doesn’t have many rubbish bins. In fact the suburb I live in with a population in the tens of thousands only has 2 that I know of. St Kilda had three within spitting distance of each other. No excuse Sydney.

9. The hook turn

Trams in melbourne run down the centre of the street. Normally when a car turns right it sits in the middle of the intersection. This would block trams so in melbourne when you want to turn right near a tram line you have to sit and wait in the left lane (usually a separate mini lane). Then when its clear or the lights go red you make your turn. Its daunting at first as you have to check for trams and cars in two directions before you go. Its damn fun the first time you succesfully complete one.

10. Penguins!

Where else in the world can you find these silly buggars around people and who would bother protecting them if they’re stupid enough to hide under cars.

Related posts:

1. Improving Sydney – a start on the future (part 2)
2. Sydney 2008 mm
3. Improving Sydney – a start on the future
4. Sydney 2008 mm (part deux)